well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
