Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
