it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
