Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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