is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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