Four minutes until I can fart!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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