it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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