Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
