so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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