Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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