just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
