then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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