D3 body, D1 cock
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
