ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
