I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
