And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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