Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
