My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Go christen that room with your naked body.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
