yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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