i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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