There was a lot of him and a little penis
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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