Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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