If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
