Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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