I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
