I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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