I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
