if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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