Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
P.S. I can't hear my feet
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
