My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
