he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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