Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
