I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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