i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
