And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The struggles of a small town man whore
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
