the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
