maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
