i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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