and you said cock pushups were impossible
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My ass is underappreciated
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
