Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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