explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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