Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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