i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
