You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
