Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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