he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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