I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
