i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize