idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
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