I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
