So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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